How do I know if I am good enough?
Maybe you have a normal way of measuring, with your normal life and your normal decisions because of your perfectly functional brain.
I don’t think the way everybody is thinking now. Obviously not everyone, because I am not fucking special. But I would be so happy, I mean so incredibly happy if someone with his or her life, almost lived, talk to me and explain, in terms that I could understand, what I am living. I am not speaking about intelligence, It’s just I fucking feel horrible if I do something I think it’s kinda wrong, specially if it involves others fucking and explainable by proteins, enzymes, vitamins and other shit I have no idea.
I should stop searching for what I think would make me happy, and look for what makes me want to stay alive, because happiness is not something you achieve like nothing. And for me, one of the parts of happiness would be love, which is almost impossible.